Divorce
If a divorced Catholic remarries, is his only hope of salvation a second divorce
and then living alone, even if he has children from the second marriage?
People who have children, even outside a valid and lawful wedlock, have a serious responsibility in natural law before God to care for, support, educate and nurture their children. A person who is in an invalid and illicit matrimonial situation is not dispensed from this natural law obligation. At the same time, he may not persist in his seriously sinful union, since this also violates God's law and places his eternal salvation in grave jeopardy. A way must be found for such a person, who by his folly has gotten himself into this terrible situation, to discharge his two obligations. Therefore, such a person needs the constant spiritual direction and advice of a skilled priest to assist him to find such a way, as well as needing constant and persistent prayer seeking help from God.
Reprinted from February 13, 1998
Is getting an annulment about the same as getting a divorce, but only that
it is done by a Catholic court?
No. You are very mistaken. There is a world of difference between these two matters. Please talk to your parish priest about this. A declaration of nullity is a judicial act by a Church court to the effect that some obstacle prevented a marriage from being valid at the time the wedding occurred. Not everyone who seeks an annulment will get one. Often a marriage is found to be perfectly valid by a Church court. An annulment is saying that there was not a marriage to begin with. A divorce, on the other hand, is an action by a civil government or authority that pretends to end a marriage by civil legal action.
Reprinted June 20, 1997
If a man's wife becomes
paralyzed a year after his wedding, do you not think it is his right to divorce
her and find some happiness for the rest of his life?
I do not think any such thing. The formula used most often for the wedding vows in English speaking countries says it better than I can (for worse, in sickness, for poorer). Marriage is a lifelong contract between a man, a woman and God. Even if the man and woman no longer want to keep the contact, God, being a Party to the arrangement, has the final say in the matter. For Christians, a valid, consummated marriage cannot be broken on earth by any power, except the death of one of the parties. I also think you sue the word "happiness" in an equivocal way in your question. In any event, eternal happiness is what our destiny is suppose to be, not merely temporary or earthly happiness. It would be the height of folly to give up everlasting joy by abandoning a sick spouse.
Reprinted from November 21, 1997
If two Jews get married by a Rabbi, does the Catholic Church consider that
they are truly married? If they later get divorced can one of them marry a
Catholic?
Yes, they are truly married. Although, being unbaptized they do not receive the sacrament of matrimony, they nevertheless have entered a sacred, lifelong contract which is both licit and valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Civil divorce would not be able to end such a marriage in the eyes of God. Therefore, unless the Jewish marriage was found to be null for some reason, or the Pauline or Peterine privilege were involved, neither could marry a Catholic. By the way it is seriously sinful for a Catholic to date (must less get engaged to) someone who is not free to marry. Catholics are not allowed to date another person's spouse, no matter what the government says about his or her marital status.
Reprinted from October 10, 1997
I am a Catholic but I was married in the courthouse because my husband was
divorced. Is it all right to ask a priest to bless my wedding ring?
Blessing your wedding ring will not rectify or validate your illicit marriage. By all means, go to a priest to see if something can be done about your marriage situation.
Reprinted from December 7, 1997
Are divorced people permitted
to receive Holy Communion?
Catholics who are divorced and remarried may not receive Holy Communion unless their previous marriage is found to be invalid by a Catholic Church court, since they are in an invalid and illicit union in the eyes of God. Jesus Christ, and thus, the Catholic Church which He founded, generally forbid divorce (Mark 10:2-12). Civil divorce does not end a marriage in the eyes of God or of the Church. Secular governments do not have any authority to dissolve valid marriages. For a most serious reason, a Catholic married person may obtain a civil divorce, for instance, because of adultery, by the other spouse, physical or spiritual abuse of spouse or children, or desertion, but this does not entitle a divorced person to date or remarry. Catholics who are divorced but not remarried should consult their confessors or a parish priest as to whether they may receive Holy Communion. In certain circumstances they are allowed to do so.
Reprinted from January 17, 1997
When is a Catholic allowed to separate from a spouse?
Separation, in the sense of suspension of conjugal rights and obligations, is rarely permitted by God's law. There are only four reasons which permit a Catholic couple, without serious sin, to separate: desertion, adultery, imminent danger of grave physical harm to spouse or children, imminent danger or grave spiritual harm to spouse or children. Sometimes, after consultation with a confessor, such a separation can be enforced by a civil action, such as a legal separation or even divorce. However, such a separation or divorce in civil law does not effect the bond of marriage, which still exists in the eyes of God and of the Catholic church. (See Mark 10:2-9; 1 Cor. 7:5)
Reprinted from November 15, 1996